On our speed trip to Carson City all my in-laws kept calling me "skinny," and while I don't exactly equate a size 18 ass as "skinny" I'll take it anyway. They're all so tickled pink and happy for me that I'm becoming the woman that I used to be when I first married their son/brother. It makes me feel good knowing that there are people out there that are rejoicing with me every pound I lose. I have a support system. They care about me and about my happiness. And they would care even if I gained back every single pound I have lost. And that makes a difference to me. It adds an extra twinkle to my eye, and a bit more bounce and quickness to my step.
I have to wonder if knowing that I have this kind of support, as well as the support of all my closest friends, that is making a difference in the way I approach things, and the drive that I have to make this work.
I say this because I have an acquaintance. We used to work together many years ago. Both of us were on the larger side of things, she more than myself. We both got married, both had babies. Both of us shot up in weight, again her more than myself - probably by about 100 pounds.
She had RNY surgery about a year and a half ago. At first, she was stunningly successful. The pounds were dropping off, she looked good, all seemed well. Then the year marker hit. She is still in the mid-to-high 200s and all of a sudden the weight loss stops. Then she starts looking kind of sickly. Now, it's as if she has given up on her tool, because she's stuck where she's at.
She has a difficult life. Because of her husband's disability (legally blind and beginning stages of Parkinsons), she is essentially raising their daughter alone - a daughter who is well on the way to being an obese adult herself if things don't change. He's also not the most supportive person in the world, and I say that having known him and worked with him as well. She works at Wal-Mart, and has for so long that I don't know if she could market her accounting skills effectively anymore somewhere else. She probably feels trapped in many ways.
This girl doesn't have the same kind of support that I'm getting, and I have to wonder if "support" of the emotional kind is more important to our success as bariatric patients than we realize. I mean, I've seen this girl eat. She eats about the same way I do - toppings off the pizza, protein-rich meats, very little to no sugar (actually less than I do in this category). I just wonder if because she doesn't have a deeper support network than just on the food and vitamin front, that she is being partially thwarted in her quest to become fully "normal." Then again, who knows - she may be binge eating out of the public eye. I hope not, but that could be the case.
The whole situation makes me sad, because she deserves so much more. And I know that she is one of the people that our pastor speaks about when he says that he sees far too many people who have a gastric bypass of any sort "fail." He's also the type who always tries to counsel people out of taking this step because he's "seen too many people die from it." This makes him always ask me in a very concerned way, "How are you doing?" As if he expects me to start wailing and bemoaning what's going on with me. Hon, I'm in the honeymoon stage. All is as right as rain with me. Ask me the question in about another year or so, and you'll get a better picture of what life with a DS is like for me, okay?
Anyway, to celebrate my successes at losing this much weight, I've decided to get a tattoo. Heck, who am I kidding. I'm just using my weight loss as an excuse to get some ink. So Friday at 2 p.m. the needle will be hitting my skin for the first time in a long time, and I can't wait for it. I've decided to go with this design (obviously the tattooist will clean it up a bit) on the back of my neck, starting just behind my left ear and ending up tickling my right shoulder blade. You'll have to imagine the color, but it will be greens, reds, blues, purples, etc. Pretty and feminine. Very me. I'm so excited.
2 comments:
You HAVE to post a pic of your new tat when it's done. Gooooorgeous artwork - I really love it. I think that a small design on the back of a woman's neck is so feminine and sexy.
As far as your friend, I think that having a strong support system is vital to succeeding with WLS. My former-best-friend had WLS about a year before I did. She did it for all the wrong reasons, mainly in hopes of saving a doomed relationship with an abusive baby-daddy. It failed of course. She not only doesn't care for herself properly after WLS, she also picked up a crystal meth habit. She's thin alright.. maybe 140 lbs.. and at the age of 33 she looks at least 60. It's tragic and heartbreaking. I think of her and pray for her often, but I just couldn't stick around for the downword spiral, for fear of being dragged down with her. Sorry - I know that's not the direction you were going with your post, but I felt the need to share.
Don't ever be afraid to share, Danyele. I'm so sorry about your friend. And I completely understand about wanting to get away from the downward spiral. You have to do what you have to do to keep yourself sane to be sure. And I'll be posting a picture to be sure. But it's not a small tattoo at all. It kind of took a life on of its own! Eeek! But it's gorgeous, just not quite complete yet.
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