Differences of Opinion

One of the things that has always bewildered me about the WLS online communities is the seeming antipathy between the different "camps" for the different surgeries. Over the last few months or so, the tensions between the RNY and DS camps over on the Obesity Health boards have gotten so thick you could cut them with a knife. The words that shoot back and forth between the harpies on both sides of the fence are just out and out ridiculous, and a complete waste of time for supposed "grown-ups." And then let's not forget about the infighting on each side. It's ridiculous!

Some people are very passionate about the type of WLS that they got. I know that I am! I will sing the praises of my DS all the live-long day. But I'm also smart enough to know that people that have the other surgeries can be just as successful, if not more so that I am - and reap the same benefits. The problem for me becomes when outright wrong information - about which surgery it doesn't matter - is put forth as fact on these message boards for those initially seeking WLS and trying to find out which one fits for them. And I know that a lot of these fights that have been cropping up on the boards lately are because of wrong information being posted, as well as the whole "pay it forward" mindset of the DS community (getting the word out about a lesser-known surgery in a world dominated by the RNY), but as always happens, black and white words on a screen are taken in ways the author never intended and BLAM! Hate and discontent all over, which some people just can't let go.

Anyway, one of the ladies over on the DS board made an interesting post the other day. It really crystalized for me how the mindsets between those who get the two different surgeries are commpletely opposite yet they led us all to a common solution - having a form of weight loss surgery. I had been having issues with a blogger that I know over her very rigid and regimented approach to WLS (she had the RNY and is successful with it). I thought that she was out of her mind with her obsession over foods, never allowing any sort of temptation to fall into her path, seeing those who did as being "weak" and not "worthy" of having had WLS if they weren't going to do all that it took to make it to goal and stay there. But seeing this post by the lovely Lola really gave me peace in what is being advocated by the blogger. It's not that she's wrong. Because I already knew that if you were going to have the RNY, yes, you needed to follow that set of rules and that I knew that I did not want that for myself. The point is that she's following a different path that leads to the same goal that I have as well.

And while I may not be a completely stellar example for my surgery (my, ahem, exercise regimine leaves MUCH to be desired, thankyouverymuch), I have achieved the measure of success that I wanted for myself. I have decided to take down my weight tracker because the scale hasn't moved in at least two months - and I find that that doesn't bother me in the least. The other day, I used the special features on my scale and discovered to my delight that I am now 32% fat and 46% water. Not bad considering that my fat percentage used to be somewhere between 50-60%. Yes, I could be less "fat" but if I never do get there, I'm happy with the me that this has produced. For the first time in years, we took a family picture, and if I do say so myself, I look damn good.

Anyway, enough of my rambling. Here's what Lola posted as well as some additions that were made as well. The answers that were used for the RNY comments actually came from a conversation on the RNY board of Obesity Healthy under a post of "Why did you get an RNY" that was made recently. Please do not think that I am denegrating anyone who has had an RNY - I have several friends who have been VERY successful with their RNY and would never think badly of them for their choice. They simply chose to live with different rules and went into it with a different attitude than I did - but wanted the same goal.

Please keep in mind that obviously not all of the DS reasons apply to every DSer just like every RNY reason does not apply to every RNYer.


US vs THEM - or, Why I got My DS

RNY - I got the surgery so I'd dump and the fear of that would keep me away from sugar.
DS - I got the surgery so that I wouldn't dump.

RNY - I needed the restriction to correct my relationship with food.
DS - I didn't want the restriction because I want to enjoy my relationship with food.

RNY - I wanted/needed to change my eating habits.
DS - I've dieted my whole life -- I want to quit dieting.

RNY - I'm sick of dieting and failing.
DS - I'm sick of dieting and failing.

RNY - I want a tool that I can work.
DS - I want a surgery that does the work.

RNY - I didn't want to be able to cheat the surgery.
DS - I want to be able to 'cheat' from time to time.

RNY - I want to be healthy.
DS - I want to be healthy.

RNY - I didn't want someone cutting off my stomach.
DS - I didn't want a blind stomach.

RNY - I don't want to have to eat massive amounts of food.
DS - I want to be able to eat what I want.

RNY - I needed to change my habits.
DS - I've been trying to change my habits my whole life!

RNY - I never want to eat sugar or fat again!
DS - I don't want sugar and fat to be 'off-limits'.

RNY - I didn't want to risk that much malabsorption.
DS - I knew that I needed the added malabsorption to keep off the weight.

RNY - I took the best choice that was offered to me.
DS - I got what I wanted.

RNY - I want the convenience of a close by surgeon.
DS - I want the convenience of a one-time surgery.

RNY - My insurance would only pay for the RNY.
DS - I fought my insurance long and hard for what I wanted.

RNY - I need to not eat fat because of my high cholesterol.
DS - I need to not absorb fat because of my high cholesterol.

So similar, nay, identical in some instances, and worlds apart in others. That, my friends, is the world of weight loss surgery. So, if you're on this rollercoaster, remember that like most things in life you're going to come across differences of opinion. Doesn't make either one of you right or wrong, but it does guide you down the path you need to follow.

Enjoy the ride!