Outsmithing the Wordsmith

Have I been sucked into a vacuum? I'm beginning to wonder if my brain has been completely drained of all grey matter and only dust and detrius is left in its wake.

I am attempting to read the Gormenghast Novels by Mervyn Peake, a contemporary of JRR Tolkein. I was perusing an article that bemoaned the fate of modern writers and how they are just not up to snuff. The article writer mentioned that these books would appeal to those who liked both Harry Potter and Tolkein. I thought to myself, "SCORE! New stuff to read!" and tottered off to Amazon and bought all three novels used for under $10.

I am finding it as hard to get through as Tolkein's Silmarilian. I have tried to read that book on four different occasions. I can't get as far as page 100. Bah!

The problem with the Gormenghast novels is that every. word. has. meaning. And that meaning must be expounded upon by more meanings. Because the meanings make it all meaningful and worthwile. *sigh*

Don't get me wrong. I like to be challenged in my reading. But this? Is beyond tiresome. Adding to the brain drain fatigue this is giving me, I'm honestly not interested in the story. The characters are not interesting at all, all their little idiotic idiosyncrasies included. They are dull, inscrutable, and completely un-relatable. Not that I think that all characters in a book need to be relatable, mind you. You do need some inscrutable things going on to make a book interesting, IMO. But this is a bit ridiculous.

I'm going to keep pressing on, however, and see if I can't make a breakthrough here. I mean this is supposed to be a great work of fiction, on par with the whole Lord of the Rings etc., etc. And I love those books and re-read them frequently. I wanted something epic but above the level of Harry Potter. Well, I got that, didn't I?

On the subject of books, I also recently picked up Stardust by Neil Gaiman. It is utterly charming, sweet and a very quick read. They did a good adaptation of it for the movie, IMO, but like most things, the book was better. However I do have one quibble. The book is marked for the YA market. That means the 9-15 year-old set. There is one very noticeable and graphic sex scene in the book. And this makes it appropriate for children just how? Am I becoming a curmudgeon in my dotage? I remember sneaking my romance novels when I was 15, but that was at 15. Sex scenes don't belong in what is supposed to be a PG-13 market. The moral slide continues as I get more and more grumpy about these sorts of things.

Yes. The Naked One Over There. That One.

I finally got off my bony (heee!) ass and got around to getting a shearing machine so that I can give my herd a much needed clipping. I have been imagining coming home and finding one of them keeled over from heat exhaustion and it is not a pleasant picture to imagine. But we had been putting it off seeing as how The Husband is still a member of the walking wounded from our last sheep wrangling adventure (twisted/sprained/cracked ankle) so he is not up to helping in gathering them up for the task.

Because getting the darned things shorn isn't the hard part. It's the catching them that's hard. Very, very hard. They're quick, and heavy, and damn but their kicks hurt. But I was determined - I have a machine and by God I'm going to shear a sheep come hell or high water!

Thing One and I developed a plan. The smallest female, Oreo, was going to be our target. Seeing as how she was the easiest to 1) grab, 2) hang onto and 3) keep positive control over, she was our logical choice. This of course means that we're leaving the most difficult one, Rambo, for last. By then, we'll probably need to call in reinforcements, but for this first foray I just needed to figure out if I could actually shear the sheep on my own.

By sectioning her off from the rest of the herd, it was actually easy to capture Oreo, and the new halter I had purchased made a huge difference in getting her to where she needed to be and tethering her in place. Then I turned the machine on, and lo! within about 45 minutes, she was shorn! Success! Only a few nicks to her skin in some of the common trouble areas, no big gushing of blood, so only a liberal application of betadine was necessary for treatment. Not to bad for my first time ever doing this. I think I could actually get the hang of this!

We turned her loose back in the pen, and her baby (now nearly as big as mom himself) was in a frenzy because mom? Well, she just didn't get a haircut, she went totally bald! I have never seen a more confused creature as this lamb. Bleating and carrying on, sniffing at her, running away from her and then coming back. It was a fascinating sight to see. I've never really paid attention to what happens when one sheep comes back to the flock significantly altered before. At first they're rejected, but then recognization dawns, and the lost one who has obviously been tormented by The Humans comes back to the fold. Just like dying your hair chartreuse or something shocking like that.

A friend came over later in the weekend and we were looking at the sheep and I was commenting on how I felt like I had actually accomplished something by shearing just one of the herd. "So now which of the sheep did you do?" he asked.

"You mean you can't tell which one it is?"

"Oh, I suppose that it's the naked one, right?"

Yep. We've got a naked sheep running around at the Sheeple Ranch, people. And it is a very pretty sight. (Picture to follow this evening!)

Television, Telly-vision!

"Hey Mr. General Public do you realize,
That we've got a generation here of staring eyes?

Anybody else remember that Stan Freeberg song? (Yes, I'm dating my humor. Sorry!) It's one of my favorites and is hilarous to boot. There's just something about having a burglar come into your home and have grandma throw him down with wrestling moves she learned from the TV (The step-over toe throw to be precise!).

Anyway, last night was the beginning of just one of my summer TV obsessions - So You Think You Can Dance. I love, love, LOVE this show. Mainly because I'm not a dancer but yeah, I like to dance. I would put my abilities to dance on about the same par as the couple on last night's show that they were broken up but still dancing together and did the ballroom type stuff. Except exchange "ballroom" for "ethnic and American folkdance" and you've got where my talent lies. Yes, I can dance a mean Aluenul around you, by God! The Maple Leaf Rag? I'm your girl.

But because I'm aware of where my abilities lie, I would never, EVER in a millionbilliontrillion years try out for one of these shows. NEVER. That's because I am fully aware that my abilites come nowhere near any of the others, and why waste my time and the judges' time, and end up getting humiliated to boot? Unlike that fool last night who tried out for the second year in a row. "Sexy." *shudder* I took one look at him, and just cringed. Because either there is something wrong with the boy (a mental retardation of some sort, autism, something of that nature) or there is something just WRONG with him. And if the latter is the case, then ew. Just, Ew.

He's 33 years old, and obviously still living with his mother. His "dream" is to become a "dancer" and last year's effort involved him doing the world's most awkward jumping toe touches I've ever seen. This year's effort showed that yes, he has been taking lessons, and yes, he has actually improved himself because while he's still awkwardly bad, he's not puke-worthy bad. But to come on a show to find the best amateur dance talent out there? I don't think so. And of course he and his mother have decided that he is the best. THE BEST, people! And no one can take his dream away! Especially not mean, nasty Nigel. Oh, no. The judges are all wrong and mean and nasty. Only to fools, my boy. Fools.

But last night we also saw some awesome dancing - especially from the ballroom dancing front. There were two girls that just sizzled (Stanislav's sister and the other girl) that were of course put through immediately. There was also the krumping guy who attempted the most hilarious and ingenious swing dance I've ever seen in order to prove that he could do other types of dancing. The Husband and I were crying with laughter it was so good and fun and spectacular. Talk about being inventive. This guy took the cake. I would have put him straight through to Vegas after that.

I think they're off to a good start. And I can't WAIT to see Benji again. He was so good and deserved to win last year, totally.

SYTYCD is only the first of many, many shows I intent to watch this summer. After my spring breakups with both Jack Bauer (I just couldn't take the intensity anymore. Can the poor guy just get a break? He needs to be able to go home with the girl for once.) and Lost (I am way too frustrated with that show to even begin to discuss it.) I was a bit adrift in my TV schedule. I filled my time with Dancing with the Stars (Apolo totally rocked it! Whoooo!), Deadliest Catch, Criminal Minds, CSI, The Amazing Race and some of my other long-standing favorites.

The next on my list of "must sees" in the coming months is the totally cheesy, totally awful "Pirates" reality show from the king of reality TV, Mark Burnett. I know it's going to be stupid. I don't care. I want to see people have to learn how to sail a masted ship and actually, you know, get callouses on their hands. I want to see drama. I want to see digging in the dirt for gold. Everybody wandering around saying "Arrrrr!" all the time. All those good and nasty things that make up good cheesy reality shows. I live for it!

Then there's Hell's Kitchen. I love Gordon Ramsey. Love him. Love his attitude. Love the little shits he roasts on the spit demanding they make a better risotto. Awesome stuff.

These are only the starting point for my summer obsessions. Anyone care to share theirs? Maybe I can pick up on some new crap to watch.

Whale Tales

I suppose most of us here in California and the West Coast have heard about the two Humpback whales who have been "stuck" in the Sacramento River and who have only just decided to make their way back out to sea. Apparently, we tried to lure them out with sounds of other whales feeding but it didn't work. But then they decided to go ahead and go by themselves.

I have just one question for these whale experts. How in the hell do you figure that these whales got lost? I mean, seriously. Whales of all types have been going up the Sacramento River for years. YEARS. All types. All sizes. Mostly Humpbacks in recent years, true, but why do you figure that they're getting lost when they do that?

How do we not know that these whales have like some giant bet going on between them, that it's all just a ploy to frazzle us and see how much we do to encourage them to go back out to sea.

"Hey, Martha. Psssst! Martha! Take the kid on a stroll up the river this year and get the humans all riled up. Then when you get back to tell us all about it, we can have a huge laugh! It'll be a riot! Then next year we'll get one of the other species to do it because it's their turn already. Man I love doing this!"

We've already proven that dolphins are highly intelligent. And I firmly believe that any animal that has the ability to carry on for over an hour singing a song that is so complex yet perfectly repeated from whale to whale is just as intelligent. They're not freaking lost. They're exploring. They know precisely where they're at.

So quit saying they're lost already. Just because we humans have no real places to explore anymore doesn't mean that other species on earth can't do their own explorations. Let's admit the truth. We just don't want them in "our" territory. They need to be "protected" from us so they have to be out in "their" ocean, not in "our" estuaries.

The only way that's going to happen is if you put up a fence. To keep the rest of the world out of our backyard. How sad.

Monday Morning Fripperies

• There really are movies out there that I could watch several times in one day and not be annoyed or bored with them. Among them are: The Princess Bride, Ever After, Blazing Saddles, Young Frankenstein, The Addams Family, The Addams Family Values, Ferris Beuler's Day Off, The Mummy. There are several others that I'm probably forgetting. But damn, I know most of these movies are campy, but I love them to death. And I love it when I get to see them over and over again. It's a sickness, I tell you. And it's a sickness I'm passing on to my children. Muwahahhahahaaa!

• We are three weeks away from the renewal. I have finished the dresses for the girls (well, minus hooks and eyes, but those take all of five minutes to put on), the outfits for The Husband, Fezzik and Inigo. All that's left? My dress. I had to order some new bones for my corset so that's not quite complete yet but should be by the end of the week. At least it's functional enough to use for fitting purposes for the dress so it's not a big deal. And if I don't finish my dress in time or it doesn't turn out right? There's a dress sitting at one of the bridal shops in town that is totally my style that I can go down and purchase off the rack that will fit. It was a wee bit too small when I tried it on two months ago, and with my recent inches lost plus a solid corset, it should fit now. Backup plans are good. And thank goodness that the "style" everybody wants right now is strapless, because that means those dresses with sleeves just sit and sit and keep getting marked down. Bonus!

• There are a few topics in religion that really set me off. And I'm finding that as I keep my mouth shut more and more about them that I am becoming a powder keg about them. Not good. I need to find an outlet. Perhaps blogging about them or just writing up an article about them that I keep for myself will do the trick.

• Thing One sucked up some water accidentially with my Dyson a while back. She lied about it at the time, and so the pre-motor filter which saved the motor from certain death by H2O sat wet for some time. As a result, it molded because it couldn't dry properly, and now the "lifetime filter" has to be replaced, which means ordered and wait for it to be shipped. Color me pissed. I am without vacuum, and since my house was just impregnated with dirt from the latest windstorm, it makes for a very unhappy mommy because it feels like we are living in filth.

• Speaking of our latest windstorm, can we please have Spring and be able to keep it? Pretty please? This is utterly ridiculous. Next thing you know, it will snow here, which usually only happens when hell freezes over. And the way the weather's been lately it seems like it just might.

• The Husband needs to do like Frankie says and just RELAX. There really was a valid reason why we eloped the first time. The man gets so flustered when something doesn't go according to plan and reacts at about 20 times the level that he should. Plans don't always work, darling. I know you're under extra stress with the damn headaches, but take a chill pill about this. Why don't you go back to the whole "just tell me when to show up" mentality and let me deal with the little hiccoughs that go along with planning an event, okay? That way you won't have an aneurism and I won't become a widow.

• Damn, but I love 80s music. I loaded up some of our old CDs onto the iPod and am totally loving it. Big hair bands rocked! And when I look at all the photographs that I just scanned in for the photoshow for the renewal, I realized just how 80s The Husband and I really were/are. And speaking of that, I realized looking at those photos that my hairstyle has essentially not changed much in the last 20 years. Just a little bit of change here and there and a few color variations, but it's basically the same. Ooof. Oh well. I'm not one to go out and get a sassy short new do and there's not much difference between longer cuts if you don't want obvious bangs so what are ya gonna do, right?

• One of The Husband's co-workers needs to lay off on the hunt for the "triggers" for The Husband's cluster headaches. Dude, it's a trigger that set off the whole series, not a trigger for each headache. I know you mean well, but just because The Husband drank a Red Bull doesn't mean that he's going to get a headache this evening. He's getting a headache because it's a CLUSTER of headaches. This is a whole lot more over-arching than you think. You're a sweet guy and I'm appreciative that you care, but just stop already.

• The Husband participated in our annual Biker Blessing and Ride this weekend. And now he wants a Harley Davidson. A vibrator. Sweet fucking hell. We just got you your FJR. Enjoy it. We have to win the lottery for you to get a Harley at this stage. Smooches from The Wife.

The Good, the Bad and Everything Inbetween

So much for my resolution to post more often. Forgive me!

• Last week we lost one of the baby lambs to tetanus - one of Chocolate Chip's enormous twins. Last year we lost three of the babies to it as well. According to the vet, it appears that we have a lot of the dormant bacteria in our soil. It's a hazard of simply being on a farm and our using of elastrator bands to dock tails and castrate the boys increases the risk of the sheep getting it. So, after trying to mega-dose the affected baby with the tetanus anti-toxin and failing, we vaccinated all the other babies and so far none of them have had a problem. It's a good thing we vaccinated them because at least one of them had started developing a stiff-legged gait which is a prime symptom that they have tetanus. From now on, the babies will get vaccinated whenever we dock/castrate in the future. I'm not playing around with this anymore. It's not fun to come out and find one of your babies lying on the ground, bleating piteously and there's nothing you can do for it because it's too late. Major suckage.

• The Husband and I got matching tattoos on Friday celebrating our 13 years of marriage. I know it's a month before our actual anniversary, but he was so antsy over it, that we had to go and do it now. They're lovely and I'll post a photo tonight of mine. And holy hell did this one hurt! If I thought The Husband was getting hurt (he got his on his right pec), getting mine proved that he wasn't being a wussie boy about it (I got mine on my left thigh). That 3-liner hurts! But if she had used a standard 5-needle to do the lining, it just wouldn't have looked as good. I can't imagine the pain of getting single-line work done. Owieee! The tattoo on my back/neck is still unfinished but hopefully I'll take care of that on the 23rd.

• We went shopping on Saturday for all the other fabric that I need to pull off everything for the wedding. I had a list as long as my forearm, and even though The Husband has seen me shop for fabric before, I think he was actually a little bit intimidated by the way I can march through a fabric shop and pile up the bolts of fabric that are needed. We made some good choices, even though I have now re-thought one of them and already ordered a replacement, and I think we can pull this off.

• Started making my corset for underneath the wedding dress yesterday. I forgot how much I enjoy making these things, even though they can be a pain in the ass (grommets, I'm talking about you!). I made it a little bit small, so I'm going to have to adjust some of the seams tonight, but I think it will turn out well. I wanted to make the corset first so that I could take measurements on how to construct my dress later. Once I get it done, this will be a huge step towards making this thing a reality and will help propell me through everything else. I'm going to be sewing every night for the next month, however. It's been a while since I've done that and it will be fun to do that again. I think I need to buy a clock for that area because I lose track of time so easily when I'm sewing. I don't feel like eating dinner at 11 at night because I've lost track of time!

• I am now two pounds away from having lost 100 pounds from my highest known weight. Hot damn! My body seems to have settled into a rhythm with the losing. I go two or so weeks maintaining the same weight. Then quickly drop three or four pounds in a few days. Then back to maintaining for two to three weeks. Then drop some more. It's a bit disappointing to not see the scale drop every week, but hello! I've lost nearly 100 pounds! I've just got to keep on keeping on. Eat that protein, drink that water, take those vitamins and all shall be well. Hopefully.

Anyway, that's me and my life for now. I'll post tonight with the picture of my tattoo and we'll go from there. Have fun this week waking up from Daylight Savings! I know that dragging myself out of bed today was terrible. I love the light in the evening, but hate the reality of the morning alarm. Aaargh.

Sibling rivalry sucks

In the world of sheep, there are the bullies and the bullied. Right now, all of the babies are the bullied, as Rambo, their father, and their two older step-siblings from last year's crop are intent on getting the damn little things out of their way. You can practically see the cartoon balloons coming from their heads saying "Annoying little bastards! Get the F away from my food!" Nevermind that the little ones are mainly dining on mother's milk and aren't a threat to their food source.

But it always pisses me off when I see Rambo head-butt one of the little ones. His head is REALLY hard. I know of what I speak here. Ow. Asshole! So that's when we bring out the "Rambo Be Good Stick" - otherwise known as an aluminum baseball bat. He respects that at least.

Within the little ones, there is also a pecking order. On the top, there are Chocolate Chip's twins. These two little hellspawn are growing like weeds. I have NO idea how Chip is producing enough milk to maintain their phenomenal growth rate, but she is. These little boys are HUGE for being only three weeks old. Next down the totem pole is Oreo's boy. He's not quite as big as Chip's twins, which is actually kind of odd seeing as how he doesn't have to compete for food at all, being that he's the only one Oreo feeds.

On the bottom are Clarice's triplets. The two black boys first, and then the little grey girl is lowest on the heap. And it's her that I'm a little bit worried about.

At two weeks old, there is already a big difference in size between the triplets. One boy is noticeably bigger than the other, so obviously he's been getting the most food. But the little girl is so tiny and still weak-looking that I'm wondering if she's getting all the nutrition she needs. She looks like she's only a week old, and not twice that age.

I know that there's always a runt of the litter when you have triplets or quadruplets and that usually they do just fine, but with so many sheep in the pen right now, the little girl is in big danger of getting maimed by the rest of the flock if she doesn't start gaining weight and soon.

I'm thinking that it's time to start supplementing her food - which means we're going to start bottlefeeding her at night. If I can get her to double her size in two weeks, and keep her from getting injured, I would consider that a huge success. I don't want to take her away from Clarice completely, but if Clarice ends up rejecting her after we start supplementing, it won't be as awful a thing as if she had been rejected from the begining. Clarice is very mothering towards all three of her babies and her udder is constantly swollen with milk, so the little girl's lack of growth isn't from her not being allowed to nurse or a poor supply problem. It's just that her two brothers are pigs - one more so than the other.

Plus, it's always so nice to bottle-raise a lamb. The girls love being able to lavish attention on the lamb, and it's a bit like having a dog in a lot of ways with them always following you around.

So tonight I'm taking the Coke bottle I salvaged from the recycle bin, and buying some new lamb nipples. The formula's already at home, and we're going to go to town. Gotta catch the little bugger first, though. Time to train the Aussie Shepherd! It's time she started earning her keep around the place.

Wish me luck!

Three for Three! Whoo-hoo!

Since the temperatures decided to drop again last night, Clarice decided to do the same. This morning found three new little lambs wobbling around their mom. Damn, she did it again. Best producer ever. I may bitch about you, Clarice, but you are the ewe, baby!

Total sheep population at Sheeple Ranch: One dozen.

Halleluia!

Praise Jesus and pass the potatoes. Lambs are here! Spring has officially sprung at the Sheeple Ranch, no matter what that twit of a groundhog back East says.

Tuesday night after work found the youngest brooding ewe, Oreo, staring back at us in utter shock, a little replica of herself at her feet. She was cleaning the little dude (dudette? Haven't gotten close enough yet to this one to be sure), but was being helped out by her fellow mother-to-be, Chocolate Chip. Hrm. That's odd. Usually mama sheep don't like being crowded with their little ones. But I guess it's okay. Um, wait. Chip is nickering at the little one? Who's really the mama here? Okay. Oreo's the one with the messy backside. She's the mama. So what is up with Chip? And now Chip's letting the lamb nurse? Ooooh nelly. This could get interesting.

Chocolate Chip kept trying to herd the little one away from Oreo, even going so far as to try to head-butt Oreo away from her baby. Oreo, who has never been the most passionate of mamas wasn't putting up much of a fight. The lamb was nursing from both of them however. So long as the little one was being fed - by whom, I really don't give a rat's ass - I guess it's all good, right?

Since it was getting very dark, we all headed in for the night, trusting to nature to take care of itself. If the little one was getting the nurturing it needed from somewhere, all would be well. If not, well, that's why I keep a stash of powdered lamb formula and lamb nipples for bottle feeding, and in the morning we would begin the process.

Wednesday morning came, and an inspection of the pen showed the same situation, except for this time, Oreo was beginning to assert herself a bit more as the mothering instict took hold of her. She wasn't letting Chocolate Chip boss her around as much and was beginning to herd the little one with her, instead of letting Chip just take it away. But Chip was still copping the attitude of "it's MY baby, bitch!" Oh boy. Just what I need. A Sheep Opera. Hopefully, we won't have to be like Solomon and split a baby between two mothers.

So off to work I went, hoping against hope that Chip would drop her own baby today, seeing as how she was able to nurse a little one and that MUST mean that she's ready to pop.

Like clockwork, I got a call from The Husband at 4:30 Wednesday afternoon when he arrived home.

"Honey, it's TWINS!"

"Oh, so Clarice finally gave it up? Damn, she was getting fat."

"No, babe. Chocolate Chip!"

"What?!?!? Chip had twins? That's so cool!"

Our staid and stoic producer of singletons produced a perfectly matched pair of pitch black little boys. They're their daddy all over. Awwww.

You would think that with her hands (hooves?) full of two springy little boys, Chip would turn her affections away from Oreo's baby, right? Wrong. She still thinks that she is the mama, but it seems to be lessening the more demanding her two get. The weaker of the two boys keeps crying to get her attention, and she keeps having to reassure him that yes, she's there, and it keeps her mind off Oreo's little one.

Now, it's all up to Clarice. I swear she looks like the Hindenburg, she's so big. Her waddle is painful to watch, and you can see the lambs inside her moving around. Prick her with a pin, and I think she'd just explode everywhere. Maybe there'll be more babies when we come home today. That would make for a spectacular week.

Hooray for lambing season!

(P.S. In the first picture, those two glowing things showing over the back of Oreo aren't orbs or anything like that. They're Rambo's eyes getting caught by the glare of the camera flash. Smile, Daddy!)

Push 'em out, Shove 'em out, Waaaay out! *pboom!*

Yes, it's that time of year again. The time when the weather is nasty and icky and freezing cold. The time when mama sheep decide that it is the perfect time to birth little tiny baby lambs. Because of course we want them to have the best chance at survival with their itty bitty tiny and short wool coats. Riiiight!

Only my sheep aren't cooperating, and I am Very Upset. Where are my cute babies?

Clarice, our eldest matron, is due any day now. She is so fat with child (lamb?) that if you pushed her over and off all her feet, I don't know if she could get back up again without help. She is just this great big round ball of white wool with a light chocolate head sticking out. Very amusing to look at. Chocolate Chip is also rotund as well, although I don't expect her to deliver for perhaps another month or so. Oreo, the youngest of the three producing ewes, probably won't deliver until late February or early March, and she's only pleasingly plump. The other two females we're hoping aren't pregnant (yeah, right! I'm probably dreaming!) but I'm not going to butcher them because of the possibility that they might be. They'll get a reprieve from the dinner table until May at this point in time. If they haven't birthed by then, they're fair game and will still be mighty tasty.

Every morning as I drive by the pen on my way out the gate, I count sheep. Are there really only six in there? Is there anything small and white on the ground? What is that? Oh, just the water bucket. Crap. Where are my babies?!? Same thing coming home.

We listen to see if Clarice is nickering - it sounds much like a soft horsey nicker - calling to her newly born little ones to let them know that she is there. Nothing. Yet.

I'm on lamb watch and I'm impatient.

Updates galore!

Again, I'm not being really good about updating things around here. I should probably make a New Years Resolution about this, but seeing as how I haven't made any resolutions so far this year, I'll probably just stick to not making any, contrary person that I am. So I'll just ramble on here for a bit about things and try to divide it up coherently for y'all as best as I can.

* * * * *

We've had good news on The Husband front. With the second opinion about the condition of his knees (i.e.: "Why in the hell are you in my office wasting my time and why aren't you out there living your life like you could be?") there was a bit of a kerfluffle at work. They didn't know if they could handle having two diagnoses that were at complete opposite ends of the spectrum. Having one doctor say that he should never, ever do his job again and that there needed to be "changes" and "accommodations" made for him and surgery, and then a second doctor basically snorting at the first's opinion sent the HR department into a tailspin. There was talk about going to the legal department to see what they should do, getting a THIRD opinion, etc., etc. All of which stressed The Husband out considerably, worry-wart that he is.

But today his supervisor told him that HR is going to let the second opinion stand and they are going to "expunge" the request for accommodations from The Husband's file. Glory Hallelujiah! I think the lady in charge of the file was tired of it all (can't blame her there!) and just wanted to be done with the drama, seeing as how this was her last HR case and she was trying to move on to her new job. And I can't tell you how glad I am that she did that.

So, we now stand at no surgery (at least within the next 10 or so years), avoiding overdoing it on the knees if at all possible, and if not possible then knowing that pain medication is your friend and should be taken liberally. Not bad for a congenital condition, eh? I think The Husband is going to try to be more careful to avoid the pain, but he's not going to let it paralyze him into doing nothing. A compromise, as all of life is. Good enough for me. I'm still going to nag him about overdoing it, though. He can't get out of that so easily!

* * * * *

I'm still a week and a half away from getting back the results of the CA-125 test, but I plan on picking up my lab results for Dr. K's tests either today or tomorrow so that I can get a gander on what's going on. I still need to actually call and make my appointment with him for my six-month visit and will do that today.

* * * * *

On the "me and my body changes" front, the massive hair migration from my head has seemed to stop. I'm now down to normal shedding levels, but hair is very thin indeed - I've lost about half of the hairs on my head it seems. I'm going to keep up with the tea tree shampoo and see when the new growth starts coming back. I've added in a flaxseed oil pill three times a day to try and get as much benefit from that as I can. I know I don't absorb most oil, but doing it three times a day should increase the amount that I do absorb. I should probably add in some extra zinc as well and up my biotin. Every little bit helps, right?

Also, for the first time today I was able to use the belt that The Husband purchased for me to hold up my VERY saggy size 26 jeans. The belt came from Mervyns, which is notorious IMO for not having things that fit plus sized people at all in the accessories category. So now, my pants aren't threatening to slip off my shrinking ass, and I'm wearing an accessory that is usually purchased by normal-sized people. Hot damn! This weight loss thing really works! Heee!

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I am OBSESSED with getting a tattoo. It's bordering on mania at this point. I haven't gotten ink in over 11 years and have wanted to the whole time. But now with losing so much weight and hitting my "halfway to goal" point, I want to decorate myself, and I am determined to not let anything stop me this time. I have been trolling for sites on the internet, looking high and low for designs that interest me. I discovered the Deviant Art site and they have a gallery devoted to images their members have made for tattooing. As with all artwork sites that aren't moderated as to the quality of imagery that is uploaded to them, a whole lot of the stuff is utter dreck - but then again art is as art does and what one person raves over is not another person's cup of tea. Seriously, though, some of it is just plain bad scribblings. But some of it is good, solid artwork that would definitely work when transcribed to flesh. I've downloaded a ton of artwork that I adore and would love to adorn my body with.

In sorting through it all, there is a definite theme to what I like. I like flowers, curvy tribal-ish designs, and phoenixes. And everything that I like has a definite feminine feel to it. I truly believe that when a woman tattoos herself, it needs to be chosen as if it was jewelry. It IS jewelry, one that is going to be permanantly on your body, and I have a need to choose it as such.

But the problem for someone who is going through massive weight loss is this: Where on earth are you going to put it? Definitely not on my back because if I have a lower body lift I don't want to do something that would be changed/stretched by that. Same thing for the hips, thighs and buttocks. Breasts and arms are right out as well because of future surgery. (As a side note, one of my friends who had WLS and then got a breast lift/augmentation done after she lost all the weight had a pegasus on her breast. When all was said and done, the surgeon trimmed the tissue in such a way that my friend now has pegasus wings sprouting from her areola - the horsey part got cut away with all they had to take up. It looks cute, but is not something I want to deal with, you know?)

This leaves the left ankle, my calves, my wrists, and the back of my neck. I'm not feeling the calf or ankle placement at all. I would love to have a delicate bracelet, but I can't find a design that I like just yet. That leaves the neck.

I found a design of swirly long leaves and flowers that if tilted just right would start a bit behind my left ear, widen out and cover the back of my neck, and then swirl away down to the right and then back up to peek over my right shoulder and barely touch my collarbone. I love the design. I love the placement. I even went and showed it to a local artist and she was so excited about the design and its possibilities that she wanted to book me a date to get it done right then and there. But all I did was price it out and tell her that I would be back in February when I saved up for it from my mad money.

And now I'm having second thoughts. Is it about getting ink again? No. Is it about the artist? A little, but that's because I've never personally had work done by her before. It's the placement. As much as I forget about it because we are so casual in attitude and for the most part, dress, I work in a professional environment. Aside from the occasional ankle tattoo on the ladies, you never, ever see a visible tattoo around here. And the design that I want, that I love, has the possibility of peeking through my hair every now and again. Not much, but it's there. And I don't know how I feel about that, or how others will feel about that.

I mean, it's not like I'm wanting to get a skull and crossbones emblazoned on my forehead or anything like that. I'm just afraid of other people's reactions. And I don't know why, especially as this tattoo is being chosen in such a way as to be considered artsy/pretty by all except those who absolutely hate tattoos and wouldn't like it anyway. In reality, my shirt should usually cover the right trailing edge of the tattoo, my hair length would take care of the rest of it as I rarely if ever put my hair up. Even though I know that, the worry is still there. And that bugs me because I don't know if it's valid or just silliness talking. I guess I'll work it out eventually, especially by talking with The Husband about it. But dammit, I'm getting ink somewhere, and soon!

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After 13 years of marriage, I will finally be walking down the aisle. Yes, ladies and germs, The Husband and I are going to renew our vows yet again. Except this time I will actually get to PLAN out a wedding, instead of being surprised/eloping and getting stuck having nothing to wear but black. The first week of May will be very festive indeed for us. This will mean that we have anniversaries in April (original), May, June and July. Only eight more to go, and we'll have the whole year covered! I'm actually quite giddy with excitement over this - much more than I expected. I'm also kind of worried that this will seem dorky to some. But in the end, who cares, right? It's MY day! Heee!

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Anyway, enough of my rambling. Hope everybody is staying warm with this cold snap we've been having. Talk about funky weather! This El Nino is doing a number on everyone here in the states it seems. TTFN!

So, whaddya think?

Figured I've give the Blogger Beta a shot, and give the website a bit of a makeover, include a couple of pictures of my sheep, basically spruce the place up a bit, you know?

I suppose it'll do for now until I finish my own template. It just takes me a while because let's face it: I've only taken one HTML class in my life (let's not even talk about my BASIC class back in high school!) and my graphics aren't necessarily the best in the world at this point. However, with the new computer, I got a few photo manipulation tools that should allow me to do what I want and hopefully I'll get something I don't mind posting for the whole world to see.

I'm a bit disappointed in BB, though. I am no longer able to edit my links the way I want to (i.e. get them to launch a new window instead of redirecting this browser window) because of their little "widget" components. While it makes it easier for your average bear to move things around, it makes it hard when you want to do some of your own personalizing of things. Just one more way of the man trying to keep us down, right? Eh. I'll figure it out. In the next year or so.

And I apologize for those of you who will now be left out in the cold when commenting on my posts. Hopefully Blogger will soon fix this glitch that makes you log in as an anonymous person. Or else we'll have to just do something about this ourselves. Like stampede them or something like that. Yeah. That'll learn them!

EDIT: Okay, I had to change the template AGAIN. It wasn't allowing me to put on my WebRing link at the bottom without screwing it all up. Communists. Now let's see if I can actually put the site meter back on as well. Oof!