Television, Telly-vision!

"Hey Mr. General Public do you realize,
That we've got a generation here of staring eyes?

Anybody else remember that Stan Freeberg song? (Yes, I'm dating my humor. Sorry!) It's one of my favorites and is hilarous to boot. There's just something about having a burglar come into your home and have grandma throw him down with wrestling moves she learned from the TV (The step-over toe throw to be precise!).

Anyway, last night was the beginning of just one of my summer TV obsessions - So You Think You Can Dance. I love, love, LOVE this show. Mainly because I'm not a dancer but yeah, I like to dance. I would put my abilities to dance on about the same par as the couple on last night's show that they were broken up but still dancing together and did the ballroom type stuff. Except exchange "ballroom" for "ethnic and American folkdance" and you've got where my talent lies. Yes, I can dance a mean Aluenul around you, by God! The Maple Leaf Rag? I'm your girl.

But because I'm aware of where my abilities lie, I would never, EVER in a millionbilliontrillion years try out for one of these shows. NEVER. That's because I am fully aware that my abilites come nowhere near any of the others, and why waste my time and the judges' time, and end up getting humiliated to boot? Unlike that fool last night who tried out for the second year in a row. "Sexy." *shudder* I took one look at him, and just cringed. Because either there is something wrong with the boy (a mental retardation of some sort, autism, something of that nature) or there is something just WRONG with him. And if the latter is the case, then ew. Just, Ew.

He's 33 years old, and obviously still living with his mother. His "dream" is to become a "dancer" and last year's effort involved him doing the world's most awkward jumping toe touches I've ever seen. This year's effort showed that yes, he has been taking lessons, and yes, he has actually improved himself because while he's still awkwardly bad, he's not puke-worthy bad. But to come on a show to find the best amateur dance talent out there? I don't think so. And of course he and his mother have decided that he is the best. THE BEST, people! And no one can take his dream away! Especially not mean, nasty Nigel. Oh, no. The judges are all wrong and mean and nasty. Only to fools, my boy. Fools.

But last night we also saw some awesome dancing - especially from the ballroom dancing front. There were two girls that just sizzled (Stanislav's sister and the other girl) that were of course put through immediately. There was also the krumping guy who attempted the most hilarious and ingenious swing dance I've ever seen in order to prove that he could do other types of dancing. The Husband and I were crying with laughter it was so good and fun and spectacular. Talk about being inventive. This guy took the cake. I would have put him straight through to Vegas after that.

I think they're off to a good start. And I can't WAIT to see Benji again. He was so good and deserved to win last year, totally.

SYTYCD is only the first of many, many shows I intent to watch this summer. After my spring breakups with both Jack Bauer (I just couldn't take the intensity anymore. Can the poor guy just get a break? He needs to be able to go home with the girl for once.) and Lost (I am way too frustrated with that show to even begin to discuss it.) I was a bit adrift in my TV schedule. I filled my time with Dancing with the Stars (Apolo totally rocked it! Whoooo!), Deadliest Catch, Criminal Minds, CSI, The Amazing Race and some of my other long-standing favorites.

The next on my list of "must sees" in the coming months is the totally cheesy, totally awful "Pirates" reality show from the king of reality TV, Mark Burnett. I know it's going to be stupid. I don't care. I want to see people have to learn how to sail a masted ship and actually, you know, get callouses on their hands. I want to see drama. I want to see digging in the dirt for gold. Everybody wandering around saying "Arrrrr!" all the time. All those good and nasty things that make up good cheesy reality shows. I live for it!

Then there's Hell's Kitchen. I love Gordon Ramsey. Love him. Love his attitude. Love the little shits he roasts on the spit demanding they make a better risotto. Awesome stuff.

These are only the starting point for my summer obsessions. Anyone care to share theirs? Maybe I can pick up on some new crap to watch.