It's hard to believe it's been four months since I had my Duodenal Switch. But I have to say it's been one of the best times of my life. I feel better about myself than I have in a long time. I have more energy (even though I still prefer to live the life of a sloth!), my ginormous clothes are now hanging off my much smaller frame, and everybody notices the changes in me (more on that later).
Now how much did I lose this month, did you say? Twelve pounds. Not bad in my book. Only a pound less than the last two months. Total loss is 68 pounds - which is exactly what 11-year-old Thing One wieghs! I've lost a child! At 247, I weigh less than I did when I was pregnant with Thing Two. I really don't remember precisely when the last time I was this weight, but it was probably about two months or so after the birth of Thing Two - at least 7 years ago.
Changes for this month:
Well, aside from the mass suicide of my hair folicles (they must be acting like lemmings or something up there), everything on me feels much, um, softer. My stomach and pannus are no longer hard fat rolls, they're soft, droopy fat rolls. I don't even want to contemplate what my mons looks like after the glimpses that I got while taming the briar patch a few days ago. My inner thighs are turning into elephant ears - all soft and easily wrinkled. My bat wings are, well, getting more wing like every day. The breasts are getting softer as well, which is highly alarming to me. I will more than likely have something done to them within the next year. I don't give a damn. I love my breasts and I *will* have them, dammit!
Things that I'm not happy with:
This is hard to internalize for me. I'm very happy about the loss and how it is looking on me. What I'm NOT happy with is the constant comments about it from people. I know they mean well, and I know they're happy for me, but it gets tiring hearing the standard comments of "You're looking good! But how are you feeling?" I answer that question at least 20 times a day it seems. It gets old really quickly. While I'm a social person, I'm really more of a homebody. I don't like to be in the spotlight, and losing this weight has really put me in the spotlight. And I'm hating it. Half the time I wonder if it would have been better to Star Jones the whole thing. But then I think the questioning and exclamations over the loss of weight would have been worse.
Also, it's getting tiring always having to be "on." If I'm not smiling and radiant, obviously it means that this is a horrible thing that I've done to myself, I'm sick, I need to see the doctor, etc., etc., etc. Can I just have a day when I'm down for no particular reason? Can I PLEASE be moody for once? It doesn't mean the end of the world. It means that I'm being me for crying out loud. I have more hormones shooting around in my body on a daily basis right now than I usually do when I'm PMSing. I'm going to be moody. I'm going to be cranky. I'm going to get angry over little things sometimes. Get over it. Because I sure do quickly.
Things I would like to improve upon:
My temper. I've always had a short fuse, but with all these extra hormones, it's twice as bad. I don't like being angry over stupid little things, but I find myself in that situation more than I would like. On the other hand, for some odd reason having this surgery has given me patience in other arenas that I never would have dreamed. I just need to push that new-found serenity into the areas where I'm quick to flame up.
Supplement regimine. While I'm consistant during the week when we have a set schedule with work, school and chores, when it comes to the weekend, I'm not as good with my vitamins and calcium as I should be, and I have to kick myself in the ass several times to get things going. Because most of what I take is liquid, it's not like a pill box would help me. I'm going to have to start figuring a better way to do this to make sure I make a habit that lasts a lifetime.
Conclusions:
It's a mixed bag for me, but overall this whole process has been very satisfying. It's putting me in a place where I need and want to be insofar as my weight and controlling it. While I may get snappish at the little things along the way, at the end of the day I can step back and say that I did what was right for me and I'm reaping the benefits. What more can you ask for?
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2 comments:
Sorry, but you know it's only going to get WORSE. Much worse. I'm sick of people greeting me with "Hi Skinny!" and criticizing what I'm wearing if it's large on me. I've made an effort to meet new people who didn't know the old me. And fortunately I think a lot of people in my building just don't recognize me.
I also went through a weird hormonal time when I think things were just CRAZY. They say that fat stores hormones and as you lose it, you release the hormones.
Try ordering some Biotin from Puritan.com for your hair and stay on it after your hair starts to grow back. Good luck with that!
Oh yeah. I know it's only going to get worse. I'm just worried that the hormones will make me go postal over it all. Crazy formerly fat lady with a gun! Watch out! Eeeeeeee!
I've been on the biotin since before surgery. Doesn't do a damn bit of good. I've always been a shedder, so this is nothing unexpected. It'll grow back, and at least it won't be so damaged from all the coloring that I do to it, so I'll get a fresh start! Or, maybe even keep my natural color! *gasp!* We'll see.
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