Fifty?

I hate it when I leave my blog for so long. Makes me feel like a slacker. Then again, I've been trying to stave off a sheep invasion of my eight beds of asparagus, keep the male pheasants from killing each other, and get the roof of my quilting studio shingled. Oh! And I've got my country's 500th anniversary to plan, a kingdom to run and my wife to murder. I'm swamped!

Anyway . . .

So the scale has been dangling a 50-pound loss like a carrot (steak?) in front of my nose these last few days. It feels kind of wierd to say that I've lost 49 pounds, but I don't want to cheat and round it up to the 50 when I really haven't. Lost it, that is.

Once I do reach the 50 pound loss, that will mean that I have 115 pounds to go to make it down to my goal of weighing 150 pounds. What *is* it with me and round numbers? Is there some reason why I can't pick, say, 147 pounds as my goal weight? Or is it because I want this to be all nice and tidy for me? Am I becoming obessive compulsive here? Could be. Or maybe I need to get back on the prozac.

This all leads me to the question of precisely how much I should weigh to be a normal person. And honestly, I don't know. I just picked the number of 150 because that's a number I've weighed previously. But is that really the weight that I should be shooting for?

When I weighed 150 pounds last, I was in high school. I was probably a size 14 then. I was definitely NOT skinny. But was I healthy? I suppose so. I had an active life, did a lot of physical things and such. But I always noticed that I didn't fit in because yes, I was bigger than most of the other girls. Heck, even some of the guys!

In checking out a link that Jen posted a while back, for my age and height it tells me that the average weight is 173lbs with a BMI of 26.4. Hrm. I don't know that I would be satisfied with that. It still seems fairly overweight for me in remembering how my body was at 173lbs. I weighed about that much when I met The Husband, and was wanting to lose some weight even then.

The link also says that my medical ideal weight should be 141lbs. Not bad, I suppose. A bit less than my "goal" but possibly do-able. Then again, it has the possibility of of being a weight that I would look skeletal at. I don't think I could handle the comments that would come with that - "Eat a sandwich, already!" "You're looking unhealthy!" "I'm worried about you, Sarah!" Feh.

In the end, no amount of obsessing or anticipating stupid comments from other people is going to help me figure out where I "should" land. Once I hit 180, it's going to be just a matter of figuring out what looks right on me I suppose. This is going to be one area of this where I just need to give up on trying to plan it all out. That should be fun. Or not.